The Orphan Mentality

I have it.  I didn't realize I did until Evan came into my life.

We were in the hotel room in Moscow and she was playing with some bottles of water, a plastic cup, and a few paper napkins.  It amazes me how she can find a few items and get so much enjoyment out of them.  She lined up all the items, then wiped off all the items, then laid all the items down.  But then Clark held out a new item and he was across the room.

You could see her look at "her stuff" and then at the new shiny thing.  She did this several times.  Then the gathering started.  First, she picked up the napkins, then tried to hold two water bottles, but she couldn't hold on to the cup.  She placed them all down on the floor and looked at the shiny item in Clark's hand - way across the room.  She tried again.  This time in a different order.  It didn't work.  She sat down and again looked longingly across the room.  She would not leave her stuff.  Finally she picked it all up again and was able to get it all in her arms, but the minute she started walking, her stuff started dropping out of her arms.  She would not leave her stuff.  Clark said to her, "Evan it's just a stuff, paper and water.  Come on over here."  It didn't happen.

It bothered me that she couldn't leave her stuff to go and see what her Daddy had for her.  Her desire to hold on to her stuff was hindering her and it saddened me.

It was at this point that God laid out before me that I too had the same problem.  How many times had God asked me to follow Him, asked me to travel in a different direction, asked me to just come and I couldn't because I was holding on to my stuff.  My stuff that I think is so important that I can't lay it down and see what my Father has for me.  How many of you have missed a blessing because you are holding so tight onto your material things, a job, or a lifestyle - that it is hindering you?  

If it saddens me to see how Evan struggles with this, how much more must it sadden our Father?

I hope one day Evan realizes she is no longer an orphan who has to fear letting go of her stuff.  I hope the lesson that Evan has taught me will help me to lay down my stuff and go to my Father when He calls  me.

HOME!!

We made it!!  It was an ending typical of our whole adoption journey.  We made it from Moscow to DC - just fine (it helps a lot when you are not vomiting on a plane).  We missed our connecting flight from DC to Nashville after sprinting to our gate to ask them to hold the plane while Clark and Evan got there.  Too late, by 5 MINUTES!!  All other direct flights to Nashville were booked.  So our United agent really worked on getting us home.  She put us on a flight to Charlotte, NC - which was delayed, which meant it looked like we were not going to make our connection in Charlotte.  Fortunately for us, we flagged one of the carts down in Charlotte and that lady booked it to our gate.  I actually thought we were going to run over some people.  She did it though.  We were one of the last ones on the plane.


I can't tell you how emotional it was to land in Nashville.  Clark and were not sitting together as the flight was full.  The landing was very rough due to the gusting winds.  We touched down and I started crying.  I am sure the man next too me thought I was being rather emotional over a bumpy landing.  It was HOME.  And we had our girl with us.  I was an emotional wreck - and we hadn't even made it out to where everyone was waiting for us!!


As we walked toward the security point we could see a huge crowd gathered and people cheering and clapping.  It was a beautiful sight - especially to see my children who did great while their mom and dad have been gone.

We drove home and to our amazement there were neighbors gathered in our front yard with signs and balloons all cheering as we drove in.

It was an unbelievable homecoming!!!

But it still wasn't over...we left up our Christmas tree so we could celebrate Christmas with Evan when she finally got home.  We walked into the room with our Christmas tree and this is what we saw...

Gifts for Evan and the tree had gift cards hung all over it!!!

It was truly like Christmas today!!  I am so thankful to everyone who has been a part of this journey.  Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude!!

Evan Cried Today

I knew it would happen, honestly I did. She is just the happiest little girl - so full of life and fun. One almost begins to think that she somehow by-passed the effects of orphanage life. Some would even say that because of her Down syndrome she might not even be capable of knowing what has happened over the course of her life.

We left the hotel room on Thursday afternoon and headed for the cab. She had the biggest smile on her face and was laughing as we got in the car, almost like she was thrilled to be riding in a car. She sat in the back between Clark and I - all smiles. As we were driving, she slowly became more and more somber and grabbed each of our hands and wouldn't let go. I noticed that she was biting her cheek and little bits of blood were evident in her mouth. How do you reassure a little girl that everything is going to be okay? Especially one who only knows Russian and how much of it she knows is a mystery - since she is nonverbal.

We kept leaning down and kissing her and squeezing her hand, but her eyes were wide with uncertainty. We stopped at the train station and everyone started exiting the vehicle and she lost it. Unsure of whether she was being returned or we were leaving her didn't really matter at the moment. I AM sure that either choice was not one that she wanted. She cried and she cried hard. How do you tell her or explain to her what FOREVER means? I held her, her Poppa held her, we murmured our love to her and said the word forever and then took her with us on the train.

I pondered the situation later on the train. So MANY people think that children with Down syndrome can be put into an institution and it will not have any lasting implications on them - they deem them incapable of any human understanding. Do they not know these children can feel and have emotions and bonds like all other human beings? After a little more than 24 hours with her Momma and Poppa, she KNEW she did not want to return. She KNEW that what she experienced in those 24 hours was better than where she had been.

The reality of that is a hard pill to swallow, when you think of how many orphans with Down syndrome have been transferred to an institution and will never, EVER, be able to KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

It's sobering and also fills me with sadness. I wish I could do more. I wish you could do more. I may not have all the answers, but I do know this.....

The blessing of being obedient to God's call on our lives is evident in the smiles and tears of our sweet Evan and I am thankful beyond words that we chose to obey.

Introducing Eva Noel Hook

Today is the day!! The day that we have been waiting for since November 2009. Today Evan left the orphanage FOREVER!!!

Evan arrived at our hotel around 1:30pm. She looked a bit bewildered as the car door opened, but once I held out my hands--she came right to me. It is a surreal feeling to have someone knock on your hotel door and say, "would you like to go downstairs and meet your daughter?" I can only imagine what Evan was thinking.

We brought her up to our room to change her out of the orphanage clothes as we had to hand those back. I think we took too long - they sent someone up to get us. We were just in awe - kinda like checking out your newborn baby to see how perfectly God created them.

After we handed off everything and said our goodbyes to our caseworker and translator, we went back up to our room.

We decided to give her something to eat, since we didn't think she ate on the 3 hour car ride from the orphanage. Wow! The girl has an appetite! We stopped after awhile not knowing if she can stop herself when she is full.

We played baby doll, hid things, blew bubbles, colored, tried on Momma's shoes, tried on both pairs of her own shoes, turned the light switches on and off, played with the TV buttons.

She is a bundle of energy and we couldn't get her to go down for a nap! We did finally get her down around 8:00 after a bath.

We are beyond thrilled and can't wait to get her home next Tuesday so the rest of our family and friends can meet her and love on her!!

Many, many thanks for all you have done for our family. It will never be forgotten!!

Love, The Hooks - a family of six!!

The 10 Day Wait or what we did to kill time...

Saint Petersburg is an amazing city!! I am thankful that we chose to spend our 10 day wait here. There was so much to do that it kept my mind off of home (for the most part). I don't think Clark and I will ever have a chance to spend this much time together without kids. We enjoyed every bit of it!!

So what did we do?

The Russian Museum 

Church of the Spilled Blood

                            

                     

The Love Bridge (my own name for it) - Engaged couples place padlocks all over this bridge.  If the padlock stays on then your marriage will last forever.

If we knew how to read this:

We would not have ended up here:

                     

Lady of Kazan Cathederal

The Hermitage - WOW!

Fortress of Peter and Paul

Art exhibit under microscopes

An example of what you'd see under the microscope 

A beautiful Mosque

The Astoria Hotel - Hitler planned to have his victory party here when he assumed he would defeat the Russians

Saint Isaac's Cathedral

Bullet holes from the German occupation of Russia

Massive doors into the cathedral

St. Peter Monument

Our friend from Nashville, who lives in St. Pete now.  He was an awesome tour guide.

  THANK YOU BRAD MAGGART!!!

Favorite meal of our trip - Georgian food.  Never had anything like it!

The 10 day wait will be over tomorrow!!!

WHAT NEXT?

Lots of people have been asking what we do from here in regards to the adoption. I hope I've answered them all!

1. What happens next?

In Russia, after the adoption is granted, there is a 10 day wait before we can take custody of Evan. Why, you ask? The 10 day wait is where any appeal can be filed. Either by us, if the judge had denied us. Or by Evan's biological family, if they disagreed with our adoption of her. The later scenario is highly unlikely as the orphanage director has had contact with Evan's biological family and they said they would not stop the adoption. What they actually said was much more hurtful, but that is for another post.

2. Will we visit Evan during the 10 day wait?

Yes, but only for 1 or 2 days. Evan's orphanage is about 3.5 hours away from the closest hotel. It is a difficult drive. The roads in Russia are terrible. At points they are almost impassable. Part of the roads we drove on had not been cleared of snow. I joked while we were driving that I felt like I was in a video game. The cars literally swerve all over the road to avoid potholes (into oncoming traffic) and a few times when the driver hit the potholes, our heads crashed into the roof of the car. So, 7 hours of travel, for maybe a 2 hour visit. The orphanage staff also does not speak any english. In addition to hiring a driver, we would also have to hire an interpreter. The additional cost for those 2 services is about $300. You do the math. It would cost us an extra $3000 to make the visits.

We decided that we would visit the last 2 days of the 10 day wait to ease the transition process for her. I actually don't think she'll really have any issues. She loved being with us. If she'll have any issues, it will be when she's in new surroundings and that would happen no matter how many times we visited her. There is no way to prepare for that.

3. Are you coming home for any of the 10 day wait period?

This was the hardest decision for me, the momma. Levi, our 3.5 year old with Down syndrome, had a hard time with his momma leaving, after we returned from our first trip to Russia. Even if I was leaving the house to go to the grocery store for an hour, he would throw a fit and not want me to leave. After talking with all his therapists - especially his OT that deals with his sensory issues, we thought it best for us to not return home only to immediately leave again. It would just be too difficult for Levi. We have one set of grandparents staying the whole time so that he has consistency at home and not different caretakers coming and going. We've done social stories on our trip. We have prepared him in every way possible. He seems to be doing great! He is in his routine and plugging along fine. I think that his momma is having a harder time. :0)

The only thing that didn't work with Levi was skype. We tried it the second day we were gone and both of my older kids told us later that we could NOT do that again. Levi was miserable after he saw us on the computer.

4. Where are we staying?

In Saint Petersburg. We took a 4 hour cab ride from our city of P****, with a cab driver who only spoke Russian. It was interesting to say the least. I kept my nose in a book and only looked up a few times. Two lane roads are made into three. You pass into oncoming traffic while hovering the over the middle line. I'm sure the driver wondered why I kept muttering the Lord's name over and over. We arrived in one piece. We figure this is the 2oth anniversary trip we'd never get, so we're celebrating early. Have we ventured out? No, not really. We are recuperating in our room. Sleep is a really good thing!

If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask!!

While we're 5000 miles away....

the celebration is already beginning back home!!!!